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		<title>Putting the plan in motion &lt;https://y.st./en/weblog/2017/07-July/02.xhtml&gt;</title>
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		<header>
			<h1>Putting the plan in motion</h1>
			<p>Day 00848: <time>Sunday, 2017 July 02</time></p>
		</header>
<img src="/img/CC_BY-SA_4.0/y.st./weblog/2017/07/02.jpg" alt="This Dr Pepper® bottle looks stereotypically gay. Did I mention I&apos;m available?" class="framed-centred-image" width="800" height="480"/>
<section id="general">
	<h2>General news</h2>
	<p>
		I woke up in a haze this morning.
		It took me a bit to figure out what was going on.
		I&apos;m pretty sure one of my arms was suffering from sleep paralysis again though.
		It seems I&apos;ve grown numb to that sort of thing happening, as even when I was too out of it to know what was happening, I didn&apos;t panic.
		I think I thought it was a circulation issue though and tried to restore circulation to the limb to get motor control back.
		I still remember the first time I had sleep paralysis.
		I freaked out because I couldn&apos;t move my arm.
		It was pretty scary.
	</p>
	<p>
		I&apos;ve now brought my father up to speed on my name change and homosexuality.
		Originally, I wasn&apos;t even going to mention the name change out of fear it&apos;d hurt his feelings (my given name was his middle name and my surname was his), but it needed to be known.
		Being less nonjudgmental, unlike my mother, I was able to explain the reason I chose the name Alex.
		My mother will learn one day though, I&apos;ll make sure it comes out.
	</p>
	<p>
		My <a href="/a/canary.txt">canary</a> still sings the tune of freedom and transparency.
	</p>
</section>
<section id="mental">
	<h2>Mental health watch</h2>
	<p>
		It occurred to me at work today that I&apos;m still lucid.
		When we thought <span class="redacted">[REDACTED]</span> was dying, his final wish was that I remain lucid in my madness.
		Because <span class="redacted">[REDACTED]</span> turned out not to be dying after all, he still lives within me, and I remain aware of the insanity.
		This should all work out well(ish) then.
		Additionally, my plan to keep my loneliness and lust in check by having a plan to meet people seems to be working.
		I feel like myself today.
		My logical side is successfully pacifying my emotional side.
		Tomorrow, I enact the first step.
		I tried to do disable autopay online, but T-Mobile uses a dumbed-down version of their interface for tablet plans.
		I couldn&apos;t figure out how to do it this time.
		I&apos;ll head into a brick-and-mortar store in the morning and have them shut it off for me.
		Next, I&apos;ll head into MetroPCS to ask if their <abbr title="subscriber identity module">SIM</abbr> cards are still locked to their devices.
		Then, I just need to play the waiting game until my plan runs out.
	</p>
	<p>
		It just occurred to me that many people can&apos;t access my website now because of Firefox&apos;s noxious insanity.
		An expired certificate will work, but not a certificate issued by a certificate &quot;authority&quot; that&apos;s had trust in their root certificate revoked.
		I&apos;m going to have to switch to Let&apos;s Encrypt after all, then just not renew because I don&apos;t have time to renew every two months.
		It looks like I&apos;ll have to install their stupid software to get a certificate installed, and that software needs root access.
		I&apos;m not giving it root access unless it&apos;s been reviewed by the Debian team, which means I need to use the Debian repo&apos;s package (which is what the Let&apos;s Encrypt team recommends anyway).
		The package doesn&apos;t exist in Debian 8, so now I have to upgrade to Debian 9, and quickly.
		I&apos;ll need to add visiting the library to my to-do list and see if they have the Ethernet access I need.
		If not, I&apos;ll need to take a stupid risk and try installing from the live <abbr title="compact disc">CD</abbr> with no way to recover if something goes wrong.
		Ugh.
	</p>
	<p>
		I&apos;ve been struggling with the concept of gay pride lately.
		I have nothing against gay people, but I can&apos;t say I&apos;m excited to be one.
		I&apos;m not prideful of my current state.
		Do I even belong at a pride festival?
		Today though, I found the words to explain how I feel though.
		I&apos;m frustrated, but not ashamed.
		If I&apos;m not ashamed, I must feel at least some pride, right?
		It&apos;s not an accomplishment or something, but it&apos;s a state of being that I&apos;m not doing any harm with.
	</p>
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